Life as of today

I have been missing my old life. I think sometimes people assume I am overreacting with my health issues but I’m not…I’m actually surprised I can even manage to work the way I do, but that has become my life. Work, appointments, home. I put my hair up this morning, and that simple act and the smell of my hairspray reminded me how I used to get dressed up and go out and have fun. I miss that kind of stuff. I don’t get the opportunity to do much anymore just because of my fatigue and pain levels. I have a follow up Monday with my new doctor to go over blood test results, also urine and saliva tests, and the MRI I had last week. I hope HE can find reasons for all of this because no one else has been able to. I want my life back. I want to rebuild who I am because I feel like I am a shell of my former self, a shadow, an empty hull. Dramatic? I guess, but if it happened to you, you’d be right where I am. There are good days and bad. Today’s not such a good day but I am working towards bettering it because I can’t bear to live like this the rest of my life.

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